


Going Down

by hands_in



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Lena Luthor is a Tease, Masturbation, Oblivious Kara Danvers, Past Relationship(s), ReignCorp, Sex Education, Sex Shop, SuperCorp, mutual fantasizing, versatile femmes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hands_in/pseuds/hands_in
Summary: “Oh come on, Kara! Let’s check it out? Please?” Lena pouted, hoping it would convince Kara to finally enter the shop they had been passing every week during their shared lunch breaks. “Does it not spark your curiosity?”“Not really, there’s plenty of fun to have without using all this stuff I suppose. There’s plenty to explore without the hassle of having to include things. The body is wondrous enough.”“Oh my God, Kara. You are a hopeless deadpan!"--Or: Where a sex shop inspires SuperCorp fantasies





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Leapyearbaby29](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leapyearbaby29/gifts).



> Based on a prompt and kudos from Leapyearbaby29 :)

“Oh come on, Kara! Let’s check it out? Please?” Lena pouted, hoping it would convince Kara to finally enter the shop they had been passing every week during their shared lunch breaks.

The shop was located on a corner. Four big windows displaying the sold goods. In the middle of the windows one could enter the shop by walking the stairs down into the souterrain. Above the entrance read the shop’s sign: Going Down. Lena had been dropping hints for the past month. First she changed their usual route to their lunch place, Oinari, a perfect little Japanese fusion restaurant. There Kara would feast on potstickers and Lena would enjoy watching Kara eat, while recharging herself with a matcha soy latte and a bento box.

At first she did not mention the shop. The second time they passed it, she still would not stop, but pointed out the black see-through lingerie out at display. “Look Kara, stunning -don’t you think?” Kara had blushed and mumbled: “I suppose.”

The third time, Lena grabbed Kara’s arm to stop her in front of the window. She looked through the windows, without saying a word, browsing the gallery. Kara wearily stood somewhere behind Lena. She did not seem to show any no interest, while Lena spent some time looking at the products: a pile of porn, a set of glass dildos in various shapes, various harnesses, books, whips. She wondered what would be a good addition to her collection. Lena had a box at home with stuff, which she had not used for a while with anyone else but herself. She wondered if Kara, sweet innocent Kara, had any interested in any of these things. Oh, she wondered. She wondered while she played with herself at night, -or in the morning for that matter, her belly warm with desire, about all the things she could explore with Kara.

The fourth time they passed the shop, Lena did not stop, however she did bring it up. “Have you ever been to one of these shops?”

“I have been window shopping with you last week, but other than that no,” Kara replied dryly.

“Does it not spark your curiosity?”

“Not really, there’s plenty of fun to have without using all this stuff I suppose. There’s plenty to explore without the hassle of having to include things. The body is wondrous enough.”

“Hmm, that is rather Kara of you,” Lena answered and left it at that.

The fifth time they pass it, today, it is Kara who brings it up and pauses Lena in her tracks.

“So, you had me thinking… I do not want to be presumptuous, being a reporter and all, may be it does spark my curiosity.”

“Then let’s go in!” Lena says with much more enthusiasm than she planned to expose. Lena knew perfectly well that with Kara you had to plant a seed first, then water it, nourish it, and leave it alone every now and then, for it to eventually come around as if it were her own idea.

Lena walks towards the stairs, hoping Kara follows her track. However Kara does not follow, instead she has a questioning look on her face, the kind Lena knew well enough, the kind that wanted to back out of things. When she hears Kara say: “Ehm Lee?”, she knows the only counter is to plea and pout to convince Kara to join her to go down. She offers a hand and adds another “please”, while she raises her eyebrows to beg with her eyes. A look she knew Kara could not resist. Kara let her head hang, reached out her hand as she shyly walked towards Lena until their fingers touched. With a tuck Lena draws Kara towards her. “Let’s go down together,” she says, while placing Kara’s arm around her shoulder and interlaces her fingers with Kara to let her hand rest onto Kara's shoulder.

Together they stride down the steps down and into the unknown. Downstairs they are welcomed by Nur -or so the name tag reveals: “Hello you two, please have a look around and if you have any questions, or looking for something in particular, let me know?” Kara fidgets with her glasses, unsure of what to say, as Lena thanks Nur and then drags Kara down to the lingerie section, which she considered would be the safest section to start.

Weary Kara immediately starts to ramble. “But, what’s the use? Don’t get me wrong, the fabric is beautiful, but why would you wear this? What’s the use of having a bra that does not cover your breasts? What’s the use of panties that do not cover your… you know, lady parts? And if they are meant for, you know, sex, then you are taking them off anyway, so again: what’s the use?”

Lena chuckles. “Oh Kara, let me enlighten you.”

“Please do. And also, why are these items this expensive?” Kara responds, her voice sounding as if it is actually bothering her, as if she cannot imagine why people would spend amounts of money on seemingly functionless products.

Lena cannot help but smile at the rambling Danvers woman. “Well, for starters, have you ever thought about easy access? Remember college? Hooking up in bathrooms, too much clothes, uncomfortable angles..” While images of past hookups merge with fantasies of doing sinful things to Kara in bathroom stalls in Lena’s mind, Kara just looks at her with a questioning look on her face.

“No?” Lena asks, raising an eyebrow. “My my, miss Danvers you are purer than I imagined.”

“Well, I see your point, but then again, it’s uncomfortable anyway, so why not shove the panties aside and still, why would you wear a bra then at all?!”

“Hmm, let me try again.” Lena bit her lip, pondering whether the next scenario would be a little too explicit for Kara’s -sweet Kara’s- ears. She takes a black lace bra off the rack, a piece that covers most part of your breasts, except for your nipples. There is space for the nipples to peek through this tiny hole in the fabric. “So, imagine -and let me remind you: you said: ‘no hassle’, you’ve got sexy times on your mind and so you have put on this beautiful bra, you walk around all day in this bra, you nipples hard, because you are horny as hell, and they are rubbing the fabric. You come home at night, your lover waiting for you, both hotter than you can handle because you have been sexting all day, you jump each other, you take off your top and your lover starts to lick your nipples.” Lena rustles through the racks and grabs a pair of crotchless panties and then continues: “You put these on in the morning, underneath your pencil skirt, your lover only needing to ride up your skirt to feel what you have been working up to and then… easy access. You see?”

Lena had expected Kara’s cheeks to have gone crimson red by now, but Kara merely rolls her eyes and says: “Yes, OR it is kind of chilly and you do not want to do it underneath the covers, so you sort of wear clothes, but also sort of don’t.”

“Oh my God, Kara. You are a hopeless deadpan! Well, time’s up, we will revisit this again at a later date.” Lena hangs back the lingerie and hooks her arm through Kara’s. As they exit, Lena just nods at Nur before they make their way up. They talk about work until they part in front of CatCo's.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course it had not let Kara completely unfazed. Deadpanning the situation was her default reaction whenever she could not control her nerves in any other way. Back at CatCo Kara struggles to keep her focus. Every other minute visions of Lena wearing that floated by in her head. Questions keep throwing themselves at her: _Would Lena actually wear something like that? When would she be wearing it? Lena spread out on a bed. Does she have a mystery lover waiting for her at home who she secretly sexts from behind that virgin white desk, rubbing her thighs together while feeling the wetness pool in between…_

“Earth to Kara. Earth to Kara.”

She hears the smile grow in Winn’s voice. When she looks at him he is grinnig like an idiot, trying to keep his laughter about his own remark in.

Kara looks at him with hazy eyes and reddened cheeks, when he clears his throat to say: “Sorry Kara, that was a really bad joke.”

 

* * *

Later that night, back in her apartment, where there is no lover waiting for her, Lena revisits her fantasies about Kara and the risquee lingerie. She cannot imagine oblivious Kara wearing the set. She figured Kara would be more of a soft pastels and flowers kind of girl. However, while they were at the sex shop something else had sparked her interest: a boys briefs dildo harness, and she could not get the fantasy out of her mind.

She opens the chest in her bedroom to get out a generic lifelike dildo and a bottle of lube. She underdresses herself and settles onto the bed. Picturing herself wearing the crotchless panties and the nipple bra, she lets her hands slide across her body, massaging her breasts and neck. She imagines herself wearing them underneath her signature pencil skirt and blouse, being all worked up already from plenty of enticing messages received during her work day. Her hands explore her hips, her fingers toying with the tiny curls covering her pubic area.

She fantasizes of opening the door to her apartment to find her naked lover sitting on her couch, loose, long and wavy blonde hair covering broad shoulders, an eight pack adorning the belly above sexy black boys briefs with a beautiful dick sticking out. She strokes her wet slit to rub her own wetness onto the dildo. She pictures herself entering the apartment, putting her bag and coat away, while maintaining eye contact with her lover who was touching herself, who was jerking her dick for her. She imagines kneeling in between strong legs to take the full length of the limb into her mouth at once, blue eyes looking at her turning black at the sight of it.

Meanwhile, she adds a drop of lube onto the dildo that was resting onto her pussy as she was stroking it. She feels the blood rushing into her own labia and clit, her entrance become hungry for contact. Her fantasy self gets up to straddle her lover, her pencil skirt riding up to the hips, as she feels the dildo settle between her folds. Her lover looks at her with hungry eyes, hands unbuttoning her shirt while tongues wrestle in a heated kiss. Once the blouse is gone, Kara’s lips claim freed nipples, sucking full breasts into her mouth.

Lena can hear herself moan. She starts to move her hips to find friction on the dildo, only to feel she could easily come just from that. Kara releases her breasts and helps her up a bit to help the dildo find access. Slowly but surely, eyes locked onto Kara’s, Lena lowers her hips down to take in the full length. Kara looks at her with anticipation and need. Once her muscles settle around the dildo, she starts to rock her hips, slowly, while Kara rests her hands onto her sides and Lena fists her hands into luscious blond hair. Their moans blending into a lovers’ duet. The dildo pounding her pussy, pounding the walls of her wanton cavern until her muscles contract around the dildo, only to let go when she finally comes screaming. Imagining Kara sucking a nipple into her mouth pushes her over the edge. 

* * *

 

The next morning she wakes to the sound of her phone buzzing.

 

Kara [06:43:33]: _Good morning sunshine, care to have have an afternoon delight at Oinari’s at 5?_

Kara [06:44:35]: _I know I only saw you like yesterday and we also have yoga this Wednesday, and I know you are busy and probably working late, but the food is just so good, no pressure, i just_

Kara [06:45:44]: I just realize I am rambling again ;) forgive me Lena. See you at 5 at Oinari’s, yes or no?

 

She wonders if their little trip down did spark something in Kara, otherwise she would not want to meet at Oinari’s, right? They could have drinks and bites at Noonan’s like at other occasions or at the dive bar. The prospect of another opportunity to go down with Kara made her eyes light up, so she replies:

 

Lena [06:50:47]: _Yes, it would be a delight seeing you there and a welcome break from the suits._

Lena [06:51:22]: Save the rambling for later, I like it when you ramble :p

Lena [06:52:33]: _ps. you are up early thinking about me?_

 

She notices Kara typing a message, stopping, typing, and again, but in the end nothing came until later that day.

 

Kara [14:22:43]: _You know I am always thinking about food_

Kara [14:25:44]: _That did not come out quite right. Try again._

Kara [14:27:02]: _I woke up craving_ gyoza _and then thought of Oinari and then thought of you…_

Lena [15:45:44]: _Thanks for letting me know. I shall not flatter myself any further. See you at 5 ;)_

Kara [16:33:21]: _(:_


	2. What you see is what you get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara recomposes herself and wants to go back down to face her own discomfort. Lena happily complies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Said it would take a while... Hope you enjoy!
> 
> If you are looking for smut, scroll down to the last paragraph. Although there's not much this chapter, just setting up for future endeavours. More Lena next chapter.
> 
> Not a native speaker and no beta, so forgive me my mistakes ;)

The joint was nearly empty except for some foreign tourists feasting on sushi. The room was dim, breathing an evening-like atmosphere at any time of day. Lena ordered a glass of  _aorjiru_  and a handful of  _edamame_  for her to snack on while waiting for Kara. She placed a pre-order on the  _gyoza_ Kara likes.

She was hoping they could walk back past Going Down again. She knew this was going to take a long time to iron out, but she would enjoy every second of it. She knew Kara better than anyone, -well may be Alex knew her better, but different anyway, she perfectly well knew that Kara would become nervous and freeze. One thing Lena learned in life was to be patient, to mold and to affirm. She knew how to go unnoticed while putting all the pieces in the right places for there to be only one outcome: her desired outcome. It was exactly what made her such a good business woman, a chess prodigy, as well as a resourceful scientist.

In moments when she doubted herself, when she feared her Luthor genes, in these moments she felt most insecure and would deem herself manipulative. But it was not like she was playing Kara, at least she did not intend it that way, she cared about Kara. Kara's emotions mattered to her.

Yet she craved for Kara's reaction on this subject matter. She loved how Kara operated, always uncomfortable at first when something out of her comfort zone was being presented to her, then showing habitual responses, then she would retract and reconsider and come back to overcome her own discomfort and fears, and she would do it over and over and over again if she had to, just to overcome whatever resistance she would hold.

Lena did not have a comfort zone. She knew she was brilliant and could do just about anything. She never cared for what other people would think about her, always assuming they would think the worst anyway, hence there was a certain  _laissez-faire_ to her personality. However, she lacked the wonder and amazement Kara could have for the world, seeing Kara's purity in this, always filled Lena's heart with joy and that was exactly what she had missed all her life.

Everytime Kara would smile a halo of sunshine would magically surround her and it would feel Lena's stomach with butterflies, and precisely that feeling was addictive to her. So Lena could not stop herself, Kara was like coffee and chocolate to her, once you are hooked, you are always craving.

She knew she had an effect on Kara too, the pull between the two women was undeniable. She could only guess what Kara liked about her, besides Kara always seeing the good in other people. In any case, she knew Kara cared for her unconditionally, something she had never felt before and that mattered to her.

So did she pursue Going Down with Kara because it made Kara uncomfortable? Yes, but only because she knew Kara would grow from it. Well not only, because there was some self interest to this case, she enjoyed the shameless fantasies and private frenzies it fed.

Despite her fantasy last night, if they were to go back, she deemed Kara not quite ready to see the dildos and harnesses, neither did she think she was ready to browse the BDSM section. She pondered whether she should show Kara the vibrator section first, under the guise of 'self-care'. Everyone needs to de-stress, right? At first, she figured endorsing it as 'self-care' could circumvent Kara's nifty comments about what coupley sex should be like. But then she also figured Kara's response would probably be the same: why would you need anything like that if you've got your hands.  _Fair point_ , she thought as her thoughts lingered on images of Kara's fingers and what she could do with them.

"Lena!" Kara exclaimed as she walked towards her. Lena, lost in thoughts, did not hear her. "Lena!" she said again. "Earth to Lena," she reiterated Winn's remark. It was only when she took the empty seat in front of her best friend, Lena snapped out of her fantasy world.

"Gosh, Kara, I am sorry, I did not see you enter." Lena said. Kara took her hands in her own as she reached across the table.

"Well, no you didn't, because you seemed to be lost in thoughts. What's keeping you busy?" Kara looked at her with sincere concern in her eyes.

"Hmm, it is nothing," she mutters and bites her lip. She feels herself getting lost in thoughts again as her index finger trails the lines on Kara's hand.

Kara squeezes her hand. "Lee, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

 _Such soft hands,_ she thinks before, she forces herself to snap out of it again. "No, no, really it is nothing. I guess I just did not sleep that well last night. Here, let me signal the kitchen staff to bring your highly anticipated  _gyozas_." She smiles.

"Oh wow, that is thoughtful of you. I'm super hungry. I could eat a horse."

"Please don't." Lena replies with a serious look on her face that quickly turns into a teasing smile. "I ordered plenty for you. You know, I made an all-you-can-eat arrangement with the chef, see it as my gift to you: a monthly unlimited membership."

Kara's eyes light up. "Really, you would do that for me?"

"No, I did not, it was a joke, but now considering it, it is actually a darn good idea. Let me see what I can do." Lena jumps up and asks for the manager.

When Lena returns she nods her head as to say she arranged to make the deal.

"Have I told you you are my favorite person? I am forever in debt and forever grateful. I hope this place does not bore you, because I am going to drag your bottom down here every day." They both laugh.

When the laughter wears off, Kara is the first to speak: "So... I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday, I said I'd go down with an open mind, but then I ended up being the absolute worst. My brain short circuited." Kara lets her head hang. From there she mumbles something which Lena believes is: "I mean, I got nervous." She hears a hint of shame in her friend's voice.

"Oh Kara, there is no need to apologize. We all have sex at some point in our lives, yet Most people hide themselves watching bad porn online or ordering stuff anonymously through dodgy websites with products that will do you -and your body, mostly worse than good. They do not inform themselves, because they feel shameful about their body, about their pleasures." She hears herself ramble and wants to avoid the inevitable question, but it is too late, because right then Kara interrupts her: "And you don't?"

Lena scrapes her throat. "Well, I had the privilege of going to an all girls' boarding school and acquainting myself there with someone who would after school become one of the key players in the current sex positive movement."

Kara squints her eyes and furrows her forehead. "I...I have no idea what that means," she utters. "Sex positive movement," she repeated. "a social and philosophical movement which encourages safe, consensual, healthy and pleasurable sex and sexual expression."

"You have been acquainting yourself with a mouthful." Lena chuckles. Kara's eyes are wide. She is processing this new information and unaware of what she just said. Lena gives her a moment to process, only for Kara to then ask if they can go back to the shop. As if on cue, Lena tells her to get up and go. Kara stuffs the last  _gyozas_  in her mouth, gives the chef a thumbs up and follows Lena outside.

On their way over to the shop, Kara tells Lena she sometimes feels so foreign, growing up a very protected life in Midvale, always under the guard of her older sister. Everything she did as a teenager contrasted her sister. They were like sun and moon. While Alex was the party animal, the sociable wild child, Kara was the brains, the socially awkward one. It was only when they moved to National City and found separate apartments Kara felt free to explore life outside the all seeing eyes of both her adoptive parents and her sister. Sex, she told Lena as they are about to enter the store, was something otherworldly to her. She did it, but never really understood the fuzz.

 

* * *

 

 

"Slept on it?" Nur says as she welcomes the two of them in.

"Sorry, what?" Lena responds.

"Saw something you liked yesterday, I meant. I am sorry, how can I help you?"

She saw plenty she liked yesterday, but that would not be the correct answer here. "Well, we are not exactly back for what we saw yesterday, we just came back to have a look at the rest of the shop."

"Is there anything in particular you are interested in?"

"Kara?" Lena dodges the question to the blonde.

Kara bats her eyes faster than Lena can register. The discomfort is back. "Yes, well actually, I am interested to know why do people come here?"

 _Geez, she is externalizing again_. Lena glances at Kara and whispers "Reporter mode activated." Kara gives her a wry smile.

"Well, let me tell you about Going Down a bit first. Me and my partner and crime started this shop about thirty years ago. Back then, sex -and especially sex shops- were male oriented and sex toys like dildos were called extensions or prosthetics. We wanted to reclaim our sexuality. We wanted to offer products that are designed to be enjoyable for all parties involved, nice fabrics and pleasurable designs, supporting small ventures with great ideas rather than big players with nothing in their pants. To answer your question why people come here: because they want to enjoy their sexuality and to explore their sexuality. Now, why are you here?"

Kara's face turns all red. Lena cannot help but grin and grabs her friend's upper arm as she replies to Nur: "Kara, darling, please don't say 'she made me come here'."

Nur returns her joke with a knowing look. "Okay, I see. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but I overheard you are a reporter? Well, how about giving you some research material then. Follow me ladies, let's go to our porn section."

Lena is delighted with the way her dilemma seems to solve itself.

"Let me see what we have," Nur browses along a wall of DVDs. "Let me get this clear first: we only work with sex positive directors and performers." She grabs the first DVD case. "This seems fitting." She shows a DVD named  _A Femme Like you_. "Why do you think?" Kara inquires. "Well, you seem to be into her," Nur replies while pointing to Lena. "I thought I'd pick something not too far from home." Lena accepts the DVD from Nur and has a look at the case. It shows a wide variety of femmes taking care of each other. Lena smiles. Kara peeks over her shoulder."So what's it about," Kara asks.

Lena jokes it is about a millionaire CEO and an ace reporter getting it on. "Let me see," Kara grabs the case from Lena with disbelief. "Oh my, it is not!" Kara smacks Lena with the case. Lena cannot help but laugh.

"Okay ladies, so Kara, you might actually like it. It is a porn with plot." Nur tries to encourage her. Kara kindly thanks her: "I… I mean… I am not gay."

"Oh, I am sorry, I just assumed, you and your friend here were together."

"No we are friends, just friends."

Lena adds: "You know friends who go porn shopping together." She then shrugs. "What are friends for."

"You know, for research purposes." Kara adds.

Lena laughs. "Yes Kara, because well, don't you dare flatter yourself. I don't think about you when I am doing it."

Nur quietly observes the two of them bickering and leaves them to it. They do not even seem to notice she is gone for a few moments, only to return with another DVD. "Okay, for research purposes then, our latest additions: a fun and adventurous super diverse Europorn called  _Superqueer_ , made by dedicated artists from Paris, Berlin and Amsterdam. Shall I pack these two for you?"

Before Lena can say anything and much to Lena's surprise, Kara tells Nur to pack them all. She soon realizes, seeing Kara struggle with her purse and cards and visibly shaking, Kara's spur is merely a way to put an end to this awkward situation and calm her nerves. Once the payment is settled, Kara clings onto Lena' arm and drags her up the stairs to end their little endeavour with a hasty goodbye.

* * *

 

 

Kara [14:32:31]: Feels pretty weird walking around town with a stash of porn

Lena [15:14:23]: Haha. You are so brave today!

Kara [15:15:45]: Didn't you want to talk half of the stash home?

Lena [15:17:01]: Are you sure you want to share your porn with me?

Kara [15:18:11]: What are friends for, right?

Lena [15:18:55]: ...

Kara [15:20:02]: Are you avoiding the question?

Lena [16:32:11]: You know I do not avoid questions.

Lena [16:33:31]: Thanks for offering. You watch them first and tell me what you think. I'll take your short list.

Kara [17:43:12]: You appear to have faith in my taste in porn. Interesting.

Lena [17:44:58]: What do you know…

Kara [17:46:55]: Nothing, that was the problem

Lena [19:32:32]: haha. Good night love, enjoy your stash. Don't snort it all at once.

* * *

 

 

Walking around with a stash of porn did make her feel uncomfortable. She hid the bag somewhere deep in her desk drawer at CatCo and decided to work late, not only to postpone what was in the bag, but also to be able to retrieve it from the drawer once everyone in her vicinity had already left the building.

Having to talk about porn with Lena made her feel uncomfortable, joking over the app with Lena about porn, not so much. They had an easy dynamic the two of them, there was something self-evident about their interactions and inherently flirty as they shared a similar sense of humor. More than once people had mistaken them for a couple, today included. For as far as she knew, she was not gay. She never had a particular interest in women romantically, had she? Yet yesterday she had found herself fantasizing about her best friend wearing lace. Was she gay for Lena?

Having to talk to Lena about the porn was inevitable and it made her extremely nervous. She spent most of the afternoon thinking what would be the right way to go about this. Never in her whole life had she watched porn. Except for that one time, when she accidentally opened the wrong kind of email. How could she know this girl did not really want to be friends with her?! She was shocked by what appeared on the screen and what she had heard about porn, she did not like at all. She did not want to feel in any way involved in exploitation of any kind, nor could she find herself in any of the beauty standards endorsed by mainstream porn. Yes, she was a cis gendered woman, and well aware that was the case, she never considered herself fashionable, as far as she knew she had the fashion sense of a middle aged librarian, -or at least that was what Alex told her. She did not care much. She was never into full make up and working on your hair for more than 5 minutes a day. Basically she had a lot of assumptions about porn, she never cared to learn more about it. For her sex was a private matter. Having learned today about a more ethical approach to porn, sparked her curiosity. Having to tell Lena this was her first official porn viewing was not something she had considered having to do; let alone having to share her experiences with it.

She decided there were two ways she could survive this unfortunate affair: 1) put on some comfy clothes, microwave some popcorn and just pop, porn and chill her way through it, or option 2) get a pen and a notepad and approach it she were to write an op-ed for tomorrow's paper. She knew option 2 would give her the tools to hide any discomfort behind intellectual conundrums. She also knew Lena would not buy it. So she decided to go with option 1.

 _Femme like me_ or  _Superqueer_. The latter looked like fun, less 'porn' than she expected, so she starts with that one. She actually munches her way through the film. Shoving popcorn into her mouth, while bulging eyes almost suck in the screen. She had never imagined nor seen anything like this. Was she living in a bubble? It all seemed so foreign, alien to her. Not only the appearances, but also the depiction of sex and the sexual liberty this people seemed to ooze. She SHOULD write an op-ed about this, she thought. Was there anything like this in National City? Was there anything like this in the country?

She could only describe what she saw as people embracing sex and lust. She did not know, whether she was watching women or men, she saw bodies and in all sorts of forms and varieties, she saw stretch marks, body hair, scars, piercings, tattoos. People were laughing, things did not go smooth, they used gloves for protection, there was no soft glow adorning these people, it was raw, it was real.

This whole experience was overwhelming to Kara. It was so foreign to her that she could not relate to it sexually in any way, her body did not respond to any of it, as her brains were in overdrive. She tried to wrap her head around it. The essence she found extremely liberating, as if she found a whole new discourse re-imagining anything she ever thought she knew about sex, and porn. She was lyrical. While the bodies pleasured each other knuckle deep, she felt like she wanted to dance on the table, but her inhibitions prevented her from actually doing so.

Instead, she called Lena.

Lena:  _Kara, to what do I owe the pleasure?_

Kara:  _Lena! You have to see this. It is amazing! It is unlike anything else I have ever seen in my whole life. These people, it is like their dancing through life. It's unhinged. It is audacious._

Lena:  _You sound rather excited in an unexpected way._

Kara:  _Lena you have to watch this! I'll bring it to you tomorrow._

Lena:  _Okay dear, you sparked my curiosity. What are you watching?_

Kara:  _People, people having sex, in all sorts of ways. They are using gloves and they go so slow and they go so deep and everything is wet and there are so combinations I can't hardly tell them apart and it looks so grungy yet there's so much life to it…_

Lena:  _Kara, I meant what movie are you watching?_

Kara:  _The Euroqueer. No that's not it. Superporn. No, ah yes. Let me see,_ Superqueer.

_Lena: Well, drop it off at my office tomorrow? Are you going to watch the other one as well?_

Kara:  _No, I don't think I can handle any more life changing events today. See you tomorrow, Lee._

Lena:  _See you tomorrow, Kara._

 

 _Superqueer_  had kept the adrenaline rushing through her veins all night. She bounced with energy, researching everything about the director, the performers, the sex positive movement. It was only when she looked at the clock, she realized she had to cool down if she ever were to sleep that night. She went to bed, tossing and turning for another hour, when she decided if she did not get any sleep any way, she might as well watch the other dvd now too.

She put the disc in her laptop and curled herself up underneath her comforter. This was going to be a very different experience, she guessed from seeing the title page. She could pick from 6 different stories. She chooses a story about a redhead and a brunette taking musical performance classes together. Even though they are amongst other people, all they seem to have eyes for, is each other. Their chemistry is off the charts, their interactions completely in sync with each other, sharing the same sense of humour. During a lunch break, one drags the other upstairs to the roof to have lunch with a view. The brunette looks over the railing, staring into the horizon, as the red head slips behind her, wrapping her arms around the brunette to nuzzle her neck to ask whether she can reciprocate the favor. The brunette nods, while hands start to roam the brunette's body, igniting a sweet moan from the receiver's end.

Kara feels the level of discomfort in her body grow. She pulls the comforter up to her face, peeking over the edge. There is something voyeuristic in watching porn and it plagued her.  _It is getting hot in here_.

A hand moves into tight dance pants, the girl in front arches back, while the other girl brings her hand to the bared throat. The two of them moving in perfect unison, while the city bustles in the background.

Kara groans and squirms, before she finally shuts her laptop and buries her face in the pillows. The earlier excitement all gone and replaced by an excitement of a different variety mixed with fatigue. It has been a long a long day. Sinking down into the softness of her mattress, she feels her body subdued to butterfly kisses, a tingling sensation on her skin. At the same time, there is a tension, a pit in her lower abdomen that feels heavy, unbearably heavy. Kara knows she is stubborn, she knows what her body is asking from her, she knows her only option right now. So, she slides her hand underneath her body and all the way down, feeling the weight of her pubic bone resting on her hand, her soft curls tickling her palm. She sighs and starts to rub her clit, slowly. She can feel her nipples hardening, pressing into the mattress. She roams her free hand to cup a breast and gently knead it, before that hand drifts of to meet her neck. Images of the dvd replaying in her head. Pretty soon, her fingers start to feel numb, knuckles sore as they occupy the damp space underneath her. She is riding the highway, her vulva begging for further exploration. And then she thinks about her prior euphoria. Inspired by tonight's events, she consciously grants herself the permission to find her sexual expression in this moment. She turns herself around and slides her already moist hand down her slit to dip her middle finger inside, tracing languid circles with it along the rims of her entrance increasing the wetness until she can feel her center throbbing from within asking to be filled, anticipating release. She thinks about the brunette writhing her hand, as she slides two fingers inside of herself. Letting her cunt find a rhythm similar to the movements she witnessed onscreen, until the woman in her visions finds her release and turns around, only to look at her intently with familiar green eyes, right then her orgasm washes over her and releases her in a deep night sleep.


	3. Metamorphosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There can be no more yesterday, like tomorrow cannot be now. There is a transformation blooming underneath the surface, which outcome cannot be overseen. So, there is only now, and right now, she is on her way over to meet up with her best friend discussing porn over sushi. Or so she tried to tell herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in balconies we trust
> 
> thank you for your kudos & comments!

Somewhere in Europe, 2014.

_She got invited to speak at a European summit about Quantum Entanglements. She did not care much for conferences, she only accepted the invite because she adored the city, especially in autumn. The days were sunny with leaves in every color coloring the broad avenues. The nights were crispy, as if they were emphasizing the sharp lines along the avenues. Despite it,  the city had a soft glow to it. Whether day or night, it was as if the city clouded in vaseline like focus of a 50s Hollywood movie._

_After the conference she only had about 20 hours left in the city and she wanted to breathe the city for as long as she could. Besides the city’s allure, there was one person in this city she could not go around: Sam, formerly known as Samantha, and currently going by Reign. The two of them met in boarding school and hit it off immediately, though their interests ran miles apart. Sam appeared to be the only person capable of giving some counterweight to her snark and intellect. Over the years Lena kept track of Sam’s career, and later Reign’s as she moved to Europe and engaged herself in more explicit activities. Whenever either one of them visited the other’s town, they would meet up to catch up and -if it was that kind of they- they would also hook up. She shot Sam a message, knowing the other woman would respond to her call._

_Lena [07:33:43]:_ Hey Sam Ma’am, I’m in town, any chance you are available to meet up?

 _Sam [11:12:40]:_ The Lady Lena! What a coincidence. I am hosting a private belated birthday soiree tonight. It will be fun… Care to pop by? I can put you on the list.

_Lena did not believe in coincidence. She studied quantum entanglement and knew she and Sam were vibrating on the same level, wherever they were._

_Lena [12:08:45]:_ Count me in. 

 _Sam texted her the address. She headed there straight after the conference. It was still light out when she walks up the stairs of the turn of the century residential building. She rings the bell and makes her way up to the third floor. A sign read:_ Reign’s Bitch Bash _. So much for the soiree, she thinks. It is Sam herself who opens the door. “Well hello there. Look who’s come out to play. Good to see you!” Sam beams with joy. “Likewise,” Lena replies and hugs the other woman. She whispers to Sam: “I guess you go by Reign tonight?” “Please,” the other woman smiles. Sam takes her by the hand and lures her though a long modern hallway. They enter a common space, where a trio is playing classical music and people seem to be conversing and enjoying themselves. Lena takes in the space for a moment. This is not your usual birthday party. The harpist was blindfolded, the flutist wore a full body harness and the violinist had a ball gag. There were all types of people, some were casually dressed, others -much like herself, wore more formal clothes, and then there were the people who wore almost nothing, except for tails, headbands or masks. They are a colorful crowd. Sam excuses herself to welcome more guests._

_Lena makes her way over to the buffet. She talks to the woman who catered the party and tasted one of the pastel colored macarons, wherafter she takes a spritz and walks back to explore the venue. She solemnly makes her way through the crowd. There are plates with condoms, lubricants, gloves and dams. She can feel the atmosphere oozing sexual energy, even though there are not many visual signs of actual sexual activity, yet. This was all foreplay. She walks onto the balcony and into the darkness. Here in the fresh air, she looks out over the city. Its seeming serenity tainted by the debauchery behind her, much to her delight._

_Sam approaches her from behind. “Missed me?” she whispers, as she wraps her arms around Lena’s waist. “You know I don’t actually miss people,” Lena smiles as she speaks into the darkness in front of her, leaning back into Sam’s embrace. “Hmm, missed my ministrations then?” Sam tries, nuzzling her face in Lena’s neck. “I could ask you the same question,” Lena shoots back. “I see you still enjoy a power play. Care to dance milady Lena?” Lena turns herself around and wraps her hands behind Sam’s neck as she pulls her in for a kiss. From the moment she walked into the apartment and laid eyes on Sam, she knew there was a 99% chance they would hook up that evening. Sam looked irresistible in her leather jumpsuit and now she was moaning hot breaths into her mouth. Sam pushes Lena back against the railing, but Lena was not having any of it. She slides her hands onto Sam’s chest and rather forcefully pushes her back. The leather cladded host stumbles backwards, giving lena a devilish smirk as their eyes lock and their bodies smash back into each other. They have played this game before. Lena pushes Sam back against a picnic table bench. “Now hush and sit,” she hisses as she motions Sam to sit down. Sam takes her cue, but only to pull Lena down with her. Lena straddles her both sides and pushed her down onto the bench. Sam looks eager as she lets her hands roam up underneath Lena’s skirt. Fingers trailing along black tights to find the bare skin underneath her garter belts. Lena removes the pin from her hair and long raven hair unleashes over her shoulders. She leans forward and pushes Sam back down into the bench as she takes hold of her hands to restrain the woman underneath her. Her hair shields both their faces from the public._

_“How much longer do you think you can hold me here?” Sam whispers._ _  
_

_“Long enough,” Lena whispers back, as she traces Sam’s jawline with her tongue and nibbles her ear lobe. The other woman squirms underneath her._

_“Long enough for what?” Sam smirks, kneading Lena’s ass and thighs, while Lena presses her pussy into Sam’s pubic bone, riding herself into ecstasy._

 

* * *

   
  
The two dvds lie wrapped in this morning’s news paper, hidden underneath two bento boxes, in her brown Fossil shopper bag. She takes the bus to LCorp. It is only a 10 minute ride and walking probably would have been faster, but she needs it to clear her head -if only for 10 minutes or so. She keeps the bag close to her body, hugging it in, while she rests her head against the window as she watches the city pass by. The faster the city spins by, the more quiet her mind becomes and that is just what she needs, since her mind has been racing all morning about last night’s revelations.

There’s shame, a hint of guilt even. There’s that painful feeling of realizing she watched porn, _queer porn_ and actually enjoyed it. And a hint of guilt for realizing this ‘impropriety’ hit her to the bone and shakes up her world and everything she ever made of it and she cannot undo it.

She feels wistful, yet ignorant. Flashbacks to playful innocent crushes, and for the first time in her life she realizes they have always been there: she had crushes on men and women alike, although she only ever acted upon her male love interests, as these were the ones actually pursuing her. She had been in love with Mike, with James, with Kenny. How could she have missed the other side of the same coin? How about Gayle? How about Imra? Hell, how about Cat? What if they would have pursued her, what if she had actually interpreted her feelings for them as crushes, as potential romantic, sexual, love interests? All her life she has been adding shadows to the walls of the cave, not only her, but the whole world around her projecting, propagating the same narratives.

She feels opportunistic and hopeful, yet incredibly lonesome at this point. It had opened her eyes and given her tools, a point of reference, a spot on the horizon. She could take matters in her own hands and control over her own life. With work it had never been the problem, yet for some reason she had cast a shadow over her personal life. She had no idea, yet. She knew she had to open up to someone at some point, but this was hers to sit on for now. The light at the end of the tunnel was blinding, probably confronting and super scary, yet she could not wait to find out what would lie beyond.

There can be no more yesterday, like tomorrow cannot be now. There’s a transformation blooming underneath the surface, which outcome cannot be overseen. So, there is only now, and right now, she is on her way over to meet up with her best friend discussing porn over sushi. Or so she tried to tell herself.

As always, Lena’s assistant would let Kara in straight away. Lena would welcome her with a big hug and a warm smile and they would take a seat on the couch to enjoy their lunch together. First eat, the rest could always wait. Except for today, because Kara’s nervousness resurfaced in the wake of having to face her _crush_ and having to talk about porn.

She bounces into Lena’s open arms and starts to ramble about sushi as Lena closes her arms around her. Kara cannot give into the hug and rambles on about how there weren’t any inside out rolls left, which she deems a problem, because she knows they are Lena’s favorite.

Lena releases Kara from her grip and pushes her towards the sofa. “Sshh, now sit,” she tries to hush Kara’s rambling and get her to calm down. Kara complies and sits down. She buries her face in her hands. Lena takes the seat next to her and places her hand on the back of Kara’s heart as a way of comforting her.

“There’s a lot going on,” Kara mumbles from behind her hands. “Kara, darling, I am sure it is nothing you can’t face.”

Kara recomposes herself. “You’re right,” she confirms. and takes the two dvds out of her bag. “This,” she starts as she hands over the pile to Lena. “This has shaken me to my core.” Lena chuckles. Kare looks at her with questioning eyes. “Sorry,” Lena gives her an apologetic look, while Kara continues. “I ended up watching both.” “Lena smirks: “I told you not to snort everything at once! You must be high on dopamine.” Kara gives her a nudge. “Sorry,” Lena repeats. “I can’t help it, you are adorable when you are nervous.” Kara blushes.

Lena scrapes her throat, adopting a serious look on her face. “Anyway, let’s have a look.” Lena has a look at the _Superqueer_ DVD.  “Directed by Reign. Remember I told you about that girl in boarding school? This is hers, she directed it.”

“You have got to be kidding, right? What are the odds?”

“80% or so, the scene is very small, let alone in Europe.”

“How do you know all these things?”

“I always knew Sam -that’s her real name-, was meant for great things, so I kept track of her career and the other way around. We stayed in contact over the years, nothing frequent, but whenever one would be in the other’s town, we’d find our way to each other.”

_She feels the pit in her stomach grow. Was Reign her lover? What else did this Sam person teach her._

“Sometimes you just vibrate on the same frequency with someone. I like to think we do too, Kara.” Lena places her hand back on Kara’s back.

_What does that even mean?_

Kara leans in to the comfort of Lena’s hand and closes her eyes. She takes a deep breath and releases it with a loud sigh.

“Lee..,” she starts, unable to finish her sentence as her brain short circuits when Lena’s fingers start to trail along Kara’s back. “Just relax, don’t try to wrap your brain around it. Some things are better felt than understood.” It is a quiet whisper, unseeable waves in the air, but she adds “unless you are me.”

They sit together for a while. Lena lightly drawing trails along Kara’s back. Kara breathing, taking everything in with her eyes closed. Every now and then Lena whispers something to her, like “this produces endorphins, it will help you to relax” and “Kara, it is going to be fine,” and finally -when she feels Kara relaxing underneath her fingers- “Let’s eat.”

* * *

  

Making her way back to CatCo, Kara feels as if she is hovering above the pavement, head in the clouds. When she passes Going Down, she bursts out of her little bubble: If she were to ever become in anyway romantically involved with Lena, she would have to step up her game. If Lena had a professional for a lover, how could she compete with that? Fueled by Lena’s endorsements and her own motivations, she feels confident enough to face Nur again and explore the shop, so she goes in to take matters into her own hands.

The stairs already feel familiar to her. She has not seen all of the shop, but she knows one day she will. Downstairs she is met by Nur again: “Good to see you, at least what you saw did not scare you off.” Kara smiles. “On the contrary. It made me realize a lot of things. Thank you for opening my eyes. Now if you can help me…” She hesitates, before she continues: “I cannot guarantee you that I won’t deadpan on you, but now you know, so please ignore it if it happens… I am here with sincere interest.”

Of course Nur is more than happy to help her. “Would you like to watch more? Read more?”

“Feel more,” Kara adds, instantly blushing when she realizes the implications. Nur scrapes her throat. “Okay let’s see what we’ve got. Follow me.” Nur walks over to the vibrator section. As soon as Kara realizes what she has gotten herself into, she freezes.

“Are you coming?” Nur asks. Kara looks at her in disbelief. “If they work right.”

Nur giggles. “I mean, why are you still over there? Aren’t you curious what these little wonders can do?”

“Like I said, make you, you know, if they work right…” Kara replies in a monotonous voice, unsure of how to respond otherwise.

“Look, you said this would happen, so I am not going to take no for an answer. What’s holding you back?”

“Why would you need a thing like that when you’ve got your hands, or a partner? They seem so redundant to me. Also, there’s electricity in that. Doesn’t seem right to me.”

“You don’t know what you are missing out on… But okay, if it was aimed too high, let’s lower the threshold. Come with me to the book section. Nothing scary there, promise.” 

The book section is packed with bookcases stuffed with books and other sex related paraphernalia. The walls are decorated with erotic movie posters and lingerie ads. Kara feels the resistance creep up in her body again. “Nothing scary huh, pff,” she awkwardly ‘jokes’.

“Here, Veronica Sinclair’s latest, hands on into the unknown.” _Bliss yourself out_ the title reads. _Hands on self love. Kara feels her palms becoming sweaty, hands trembling as she accepts the book from Nur._

“You have come a long way miss, but you have got a long way to go, your journey starts here, with yourself.” Nur tells her solemnly. Kara looks at her questioning, until Nur winks at her, and she can feel herself loosening up. She decides to take the book.

On her way out, Nur hands her a flyer. “Here, we offer a wide variety of hands-on workshops, the next one takes place in a few weeks, please have a look at our program.”

 

* * *

 

That evening Kara changes into her comfortable sweatpants and white a tank top to settle in on the sofa with two buckets of ice cream and her book. She spoons away as she reads and reads and takes in everything she can.

When she finishes the ice cream, she lies down on the sofa and closes her eyes, feeling inspired, saturated and satisfied. She lets a cold hand wander underneath the hem of her sweatpants and into her panties. Her pussy immediately reacts to the cold sensation brought to it and already slightly turned on by the ink on the pages. Her lips are swollen, her pussy slightly damp and she can feel the blood rushing where her cold fingers linger.

She just read, she should ignore any fantasies and focus on her sensations, to what she is experiencing right now, moment by moment, by moment. Consciously deciding what it is she needs. However it is awfully hard as she re-experiences Lena’s skillful fingers stroking her back, tingling sensations from this morning interspersing with current lust.

Her right hand cups her right labium, moving it back and forward, the wriction stimulating her clit and moistening her entrance. She starts to melt into her own softness. Her left hand joins the right and cups the left side, moving asynchronically to her right hand. Her middle finger exploratively teasing her wettening entrance. She can feel her breasts swell, her breath moving higher up into her chest. The air around her fills itself with a thick, warm resinous smell, a top note of bergamot, her base note rose and her heart note undisputedly amber.

She envisions Lena smirking between her thighs, eyes locked onto hers, her tongue lapping up the pool between her legs. Her own fingers are drawn to her entrance like bees to honey, diving a little deeper down every time. _Do I want this?_ she manages to think as she hooks two fingers inside and lets her other hand massage her thighs. The only answer here is _yes_.

She keeps her fingers still inside, inhales deeply and regulates her breaths. With each breath in, all the way down south, it feels as if she breathes her walls towards her fingers. It feels somewhat reverse, making friction rather than being subjected to friction, but it feels so good. She wonders if this is what it would feel like to have Lena’s pussy wrapped around her fingers, pulsating against her fingers. Two fingers become three, her walls caving in on her fingers, until there is only wriction. She then slowly starts to move her fingers, dragging her most sensitive wall. Again, the same vision of her raven haired friend between her thighs, eyes begging her to come for her and so she does. She lets go of everything she every thought she knew and comes wet and hard. There is no shame in this anymore, she knows she wants it, she needs to claim it, until then… at least there is no harm in fantasizing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next up: Lena goes down
> 
> ps. there is only one outcome to this story (in 2/3 chapters or so), do the math and let me know your answers.. It's like supercorp cluedo... 
> 
> say hi @ https://hands-in.tumblr.com/


	4. Mold and affirm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena wants her plan to move forward so she buys Kara a little present at the shop and gets off on it. Alternating POVs.

The air was still warm. Autumn in national city felt very different from her autumns in Europe. Here, early mornings felt like summer evenings, the sun low in the sky. Optimism in the air for the day to come. Afternoons turned they city into a humid darkness. There was nothing crispy about the air here, nor did it ever seem to be raining like in Europe. Autumn afternoons here were sultry and languid, the atmosphere dense and the sky colorful before turning into a more purplish blue, leading in the night.

Lena loved watching the darkness fall over the city at dusk. It became a ritual in itself, whenever she had the time to step out on the LCorp balcony at sundown she would, especially in autumn. It was only in these moments on the balcony she would let herself ponder about life. Losing her birth mother and then growing up under the emotional neglect of the Luthors, left a mark on Lena. She was a highly intelligent woman, whom the Luthors had taught to fare well in the world. Life taught her to trust nobody but herself. Professionally there was nothing she could not realize. Her private life was a different story. Sure, her EQ could match her IQ, her intelligence was anything but limited, she was smart in the sense she could do the math, predicting and reading psychological events. She was a master deducer. Nonetheless, her private way of coping with life was a completely different story.

In these moments on her balcony she felt safe enough to feel the lump of loneliness hidden deep inside herself, currently residing in her stomach. It was that lump of loneliness that prevented her from engaging in truly meaningful, intimate, human relationships. She could feign empathic social interactions, Lilian, and later Mercy, trained her well enough to give anyone the impression that she cared and logically she knew she should care, but she hardly ever really cared. Not because she was a cold blooded narcissist, but because even the possibility of having a deeper connection to anyone scared her to her core.

It had scared her at first, Kara texting her, calling her, inviting her over. She did not have a friend, a real friend since Sam. She was in a catch-22. One the one hand, she found it hard to let people in, on the other, people were too scared to hang around with a Luthor, or they were trying to get into her pants. But Kara did not fit any category and something between the two of them just clicked.

The sky had just turned into a combination of pastels, a white, yellow and pink against the lightest shade of blue. The pastels reminded her of Kara and how these colors always seem so fitting for her. Kara’s naivety, her optimism and righteousness intrigued her. Sometimes Lena would cringe of how privileged Kara could sound, but she knew underneath Kara’s demeanor lay a complex world of hurt, shame and guilt.

A few weeks ago, they were were sitting at the kotatsu at Oinari’s, both a bit tipsy from the umeshu. For some reason Kara ended up talking about high school and how lonely she had been, how she too had been an outcast. Lena never considered Kara being an outcast. She associated the word with none other than herself, while it seemed impossible to dislike Kara in anyway. She had then come to realize that Kara’s loneliness had shaped her this way. Her sunshine merely hid the darkness buried underneath. Much like the changing skies at dawn. Lena had lain her head to rest on Kara’s shoulder and shared how she became a rebel; different strategy same reasons. Kara had wrapped her arm around Lena and softly stroked her hair.

They both recognized that everyone had their own hardships in life, not to be compared, since there really is no scale to measure or categorize hurt in any way. With her own past, intimacy and friendship were pretty much strangers to Lena. These conversations did not come easy to her. But she valued them and tried to be vulnerable. On top, these conversations always came with a smile on her face, laughter in her heart, butterflies in her belly and lust in her pelvis. Kara was like a magnet, enticing and enthralling. She was compassionate and smart. She found pleasure in Kara’s company. Of course, she tried to shove it all away, the blossoming feelings, but in the end she just could not. She wanted to be with Kara fully, romantically, sexually, intimately, for better or for worse. In order for that to happen, she had to play another piece on the board.

That meant that right now she had not seen Kara for three days, when they last had lunch together. Kara did let her know she was extremely busy working on a story and that if she could, she would have invited her over for dinner, but ‘things are messy here’ she said. Knowing Kara, she guessed Kara was hands deep in researching her newly found experiences, to either write an article about it or blow her away with fun facts upon their new meeting to cover up any discomfort she had on the subject. She smiled at the thought of it, while the pastels blended into dark shades of purple and blue before turning into the evening sky. For things to move in the direction she wanted she needed to take the next step: give Kara another nudge in the right direction and let herself be seen. And what could deliver the message better than a present.

* * *

 

“Good afternoon, welcome back.” The same familiar face greets her as she arrives at the shop. From the stories she figured Nur must be around fifty, may be sixty years old. She was not particularly eccentric, yet there was something characteristic about her, a free spirit. From the lines on her face Lena could tell life has not always been easy on her, that she lived the life of the party once, and it changed her for the better. Unlike any other adult in her life, Nur came across youthful and wise.. Lena smiles and nods her head to the woman. “Good afternoon to you too, Nur.”

“I still feel silly about the other day,” Nur replies.

“Don’t worry about it. You are not the only one who assumes.” Lena playfully rolls her eyes.

As if to assure her, Nur places her hand on Lena’s shoulder. “Well, you two look good together I must say.”

Lena does not need any affirmation. “We do, don’t we. And you know what, it’s a shame, really.” Lena laughs. Most people would shy away from her promptness, but not Nur. “Come,” she says. “What are you here for?”

“A gift. For Kara. To Celebrate. Something to make her feel good.”

“What a surprise. Or rather, what a coincidence.”

Lena looks at her with a questioning face. Nur tells her it is nothing and asks her if she has anything particular in mind. Lena laughs.

“Of course I have, you don’t want to know me. There are lists and boxes for everything.” Nur laughs, as Lena continues. “I’d rather avoid any bizarre discussions with Kara, so it should not have any batteries, it should be able to move however, and it should be a color, blue, or red, or black, you know… No bunnies, or butterflies, apples, or anything she can associate with. Something abstract. Not too small, not too big, not too wide, not too thin. I could tell you pretty precize sizes, but that would make this rather awkward. It is already pretty awkward since I am rambling, much like Kara, if I may say.” Nur laughs, and while Lena keeps adding to her list, Nur walks them to the vibrators and dildos section.

“You know how to limit your options. I have the perfect gift for you.”

“Show me.” Lena grins.

“Burgundy red, moldable, up to 7 inches, shapeable in length, thickness, bent, and structure, can be molded to be used in a harness, -just saying, its material 100% safe for the body, and on top of it holds a tiny chain of chip that responses to vibrations in its surroundings, amplifying them for its own purposes. So imagine,” Lena cuts Nur short, with a big smile on her face. “Your walls contracting and your dildo starts to vibrate with you, synchronizing with your own personal rhythm, oh my god this is brilliant, I should have thought of this myself! Thank you Nur, this is perfect!” Lena cannot hide her enthusiasm, it hardly ever happens that she has no control over her impulses, but when she is geeking out over something, she cannot control herself bouncing up and down.

Nur hands her a flyer on her way out. “Here, we offer a wide variety of hands-on workshops, the next one takes place in a few weeks, please have a look at our program.”

* * *

 

 

She could not help herself, she got hooked on porn. She was watching Femme like me, again. She just got out of the shower, where she shaved her folds and found herself getting ahead of her pleasure. She changed into dark red thai boxing shorts and a dark blue crop top, her wet hair in a messy bun. She put her glasses on and her laptop on her coffee table. Kara settled in on the couch and watched another segment of the DVD. Over the past three days she had watched one each evening, combined with reading the book Nur recommended her, she had a blast unwinding every night. She loved her little me-time moments. Finally, she allowed herself to indulge in something, guilt-free.

So there she lies, one hand down her panties, eyes fixated on the screen, where a salt-and-pepper haired woman seduces a brunette at a gala. The two of them end up having sex in a toilet stall. It makes her dripping wet and she is eager to come, but she is also eager to finish the whole clip, so she tries to postpone her climax as long as possible. However, before she can finish the doorbell rings.

Crap. What time is it. Only Alex drops by unannounced at this hour. Please don’t let her be drunk again. She closes the lid on her laptop and yells she will be right there. She stumbles across the room, as she runs for the door, which she opens with a big swing. Much to her surprise she finds Lena on the other side.

“Well, well, look at you, what a surprise...” The brown haired woman starts. “I did not get much to see of you lately and now I am welcomed by all of...” Lena pauses to draw out the shape of Kara in the air with her hands, raising an eyebrow. “this.”

Kara’s whole face turning red in a flash. “I...I thought you were Alex..” She stammers, closing the door behind Lena. “Come on now Kara, don’t be shy. We’re besties right, I can deal with you walking around the house naked, for someone’s sake in the privacy of your own home,” she tells Kara as she makes her way to the kitchen counter to empty out her bag.

Kara fidgets with her glasses and scrunches her nose. “Ah yeah, I’ll be right back.” She speeds to the bedroom, wishing she could snap her fingers and recompose herself. Instead she makes a mess of her closet in a spur and throws her favorite grey hoodie over her head.

When she returns to the living room, she finds Lena pouring them a glass of wine and there is music playing from her laptop. Lena then hands her a plate full of potstickers. “Et voila, late night dumplings from Oinari’s, as I recall your appetite is exhaustless.”

Kara cannot manage to form any sentence. Her brain short circuits on the thought of getting busted watching porn. Shit did I close that screen? Did she see. NO. Oh no. Oh no. Ohnonono.

When Lena turns around, she hums -as if in approval, as she looks Kara up and down again. The only thing Kara can manage at this point is to giggle, unsure of the whole situation. She leans on the counter to stabilize herself physically, hoping her mind will follow.

“Uhhm, ehh, what’s this?” She manages to stammer, pointing at the pink glittery box in front of her. Lena, seemingly eager to answer, tells her: “Oh yes, well, I have been thinking about our last meeting and how your sexual awakening is worth to celebrate, ain’t no shame in pleasure, so I brought you a little present from our favourite shop.”

How embarrassing. Please don’t let this be what I think this is. Please make it go away. “Thanks, Lena, I really appreciate it. Thanks for dropping by. It’s getting late you know and I had dinner already...” Kara freezes.

“You are not!” Lena’s eyes turn wide in disbelief. “You are not giving me the cold shoulder. Kara, come on, stay with me. You can do this. We can do this. I just gave you a gift. Just pretend I bought an insanely expensive designer pizza cutter for you, and it is wrapped in this obnoxious, glittery box. So, are you going to open it, or not?”

Lena manages to break Kara’s spell. The blonde chuckles, relieved. “Ahhh, Lee, you know I am sorry. Let me have a sip first and we can try again.”

“Cheers to that.” Their glasses clink, their eyes meet. Lena continues: “Anyway, while only 52% of women appear to own one, I believe any woman should have one of these.”

“A pizza cutter, you mean…” Kara raises an eyebrow.

Lena laughs. “You are the worst.”

Kara raises her glass. “Lena Luthor bearer of gifts, empowering women all over the country to own their own pizza cutter, one household at a time.”

“Shut up,” Lena laughs again. “Don’t get me started or I’ll give you a whole lecture on the subject. You know...”

Kara cuts her short before she can finish the sentence. “Yeah, yeah, I got the message. I’ll open it.” and so she does; with shaky hands Kara opens her gift.

“I know you said we vibrate at the same frequency, I did not expect you meaning this.”

“If I meant this honey, I would’ve bought us matching ones with a remote. It’s purely meant for YOUR pleasure.” Lena says as she walks past Kara. Kara slaps her with the box. “How generous of you.”

Lena walks to the door to grab her coat, she sighs and smiles: “Now, I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy your evening miss Danvers.”

Kara runs up to her and grabs her by her arm. “You did not finish your wine…,” she starts.

Lena takes her hand and leans in to press a kiss on the corner of Kara’s mouth. “Hmm, I’m sure you were busy,” she whispers in Kara’s ear before she opens the door and makes her way out, to leave Kara red-eared and trembling.

* * *

 

There are noises coming from the other side of the door, as if Kara is stumbling her way to the door, which then opens with a big swing. Kara looks startled, she probably had not expected to see her. Much to her delight Kara is wearing little clothing. She looks like she just got out of the shower, rosy cheeks and wet hair put up in a messy bun. A blue crop top accentuates the lines on her stomach. She cannot suppress a smile seeing the boxing shorts underneath. “Well, well, look at you, what a surprise...” she starts. “I did not get much to see of you lately and now I am welcomed by all of...” she pauses to draw out the shape of Kara in the air with her hands, raising an eyebrow. “this.”

Kara’s whole face turns red in a flash. “I...I thought you were Alex..” Kara closes the door behind her. “Come on now Kara, don’t be shy. We’re besties right, I can deal with you walking around the house naked, for someone’s sake in the privacy of your own home,” she tells Kara as she walks to the kitchen to empty out her bag on the counter.

Kara tells her she will be right back and disappears. She takes the potstickers from the bag and puts them on a plate. Some music would be nice. She looks around the living room for Kara’s laptop and grabs it from the table. Its screen is frozen on an image of what appears to be an image of a woman eating out another woman against a bathroom sink. Lena smirks. Naughty Kara. So that’s the mood tonight. She opens the wine and hears Kara return from her room. Lena turns around to hand her the plate of potstickers. “Et voila, late night dumplings from Oinari’s, as I recall your appetite is exhaustless.” She loved seeing Kara wear next to nothing, but knowing now what is underneath the hoodie excites her even more. Kara appears uncomfortable, the blond giggles and trips and then asks about the box. The box is hard to miss, it is glittery and right in front of her.

Kara takes place on the stool behind the counter. She hands her the box and tells the blonde she has been on her mind since last meeting. Kara clumsily fumbles with the wrapper and ribbons, while she walks around Kara. She places her hands on the counter next to Kara, her front leaning into Kara’s back. Her face moves closer to Kara’s ear, lips almost brushing her earlobe, as she whispers: “In light of your recent sexual awakening, I thought you and I could have a little fun.” She can feel Kara holding her breath. Her hands take Kara’s and helps them to open the box. Kara’s hands are warm, unlike her own. Their cheeks touching. Upon seeing the burgundy colored blob in the box, Kara finally exhales. “Wh..what’s this?” Kara utters. She takes the rather formless matter into her hands. “This,” she starts while slowly molding the burgundy, her breath hot in Kara’s ear, “will make you feel good.” She can feel Kara leaning her back into her, she closes the tiny gap that is left between her ear and her own lips, Kara tilts her head back. She watches Kara’s eyes close and her lips part. “If you want me gone, all you need to do is say ‘go’, and I will be gone in a blink. If you want me to stay, hum for me Kara.” Kara lets out a groggy hum as she wraps her arm around her neck. She takes her cue and draws her tongue slowly over Kara’s ear and along her jawline. Kara tilts her head back to neutral and wraps her both hands around her neck to draw her in for a kiss. It is anything but conservative. Their tongues dance around each other. She likes a slow build up, the slow burn. But once past the point of no return, it all goes very fast and fragmented. Before she knows it, Kara is taking her hoodie off allowing Lena’s hands to roam along her sides and underneath the crop top. Her cold hands finding bare breasts and swollen nipples to play with. Kara is on the counter allowing Lena to kiss her belly, while her hands knead Kara’s strong inner thighs before letting her thumbs make slow circles closer and closer to the hems of the boxing shorts containing everything she wants to taste right now. She lets her palm rub over the fabric, not surprised to feel wetness underneath. Kara hands her a neatly molded rod. She takes her lover to the couch and frees her from her boxing shorts. She slides the toy between Kara’s folds and lets the tips rest at the entrance. Kara’s hands fist her hair, so it is hard to tell, but she believes she heard a ‘please’. She lets her tongue make a few big strokes before gently sucking on Kara’s clit and alternating it with drawing slow circles around it. Kara feels eager, pressing her whole pussy into her face. She slowly pushes the dildo inside Kara while she keeps kissing her cunt. She flattens out the bottom of the wand to let it rest in between Kara’s bum cheeks. Just close enough to her second entrance for Kara to sense its presence. She knows Kara feels it as the blonde lets out a loud growl and pushes herself closer to Lena and her burgundy wand. Lena grins in anticipation, knowing that the mold should amplify Kara’s inner vibrations anytime soon. Her fantasy is cut short by her phone vibrating. She deliberately kept her phone close, knowing she would hear from Kara.

Kara [00:31:54]: _There is only one word for this. Holy F*CK._

Lena smiles. _Let the rambling commence._

Kara [00:32:15] _Okay, those were technically two words. But you know what I mean. THANK YOU LENA LUTHOR_

Lena’s smile grows even wider.

Kara [00:32:45]: _For making me feel good_

Lena’s heart smiles with her.

Kara [00:33:16]: _I know you are reading this :p_

Lena [00:33:46]: _Anytime._

She watches Kara type, and pause, and type, and pause. Nothing follows, so she gives a little heads up.

Lena [00:34:33]: _;)_

Lena [00:34:54]: _Happy you know how to please yourself._

Kara [00:35:33]: _Happy you know what pleases me_

Kara [00:35:52]: _Sweet dreams, Lee_

Lena [00:36:14]: _I’m sure they will be._

She watches Kara type again. Again nothing follows. She smiles to herself as she lets her hand slide back down and in between her legs to finish her fantasy, to finish herself. Relaxing in the comfort of knowing that all the pieces are in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a bit distracted writing a whole back story about Lena's past relationships and then decided not to include it. It'll be a different story (:
> 
> For now, enjoy the last fantasy, next chapter reality check :)


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